Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Randomize
