The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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