Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
