Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
