TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
