Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You smell like stripper and shame
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
