One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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