Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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