my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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