I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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