Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
