Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
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