We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
be right there i have to get my cape
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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