nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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