He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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