8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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