I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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