Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
