it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
