Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
