weddingsv make me drug and hornr
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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