I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
So vagazzling was a success
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
