This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize