My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I think I won the penis lottery.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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