I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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