If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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