Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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