She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize