FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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