he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
We left the knife in your bed.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
