You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
