Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
