the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize