talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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