Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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