I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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