Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
