everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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