there was a trapeze. enough said
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
