If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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