what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
