That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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