so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
