i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
