the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
