Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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