Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize