i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize