Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
