I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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