we should wear snuggies to the strip club
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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