dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
