I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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