Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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