we have pet lesbian snakes
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
