OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
