Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
