the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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